I walked into Hal's and slammed the door startling (and probably annoying) my aunt, Maryann. But I was mad for cause! I had just been dumped by my boyfriend who was named, of all the boring boomer basic bullshit, Jerry.
Jerry!
He could have just gone by "Jerome" like he was born in this millennium. Instead he went by "Jerry." On purpose.
Whatever.
He said that he was going home to Colorado over the summer so there was no point in carrying on as boyfriend/girlfriend and we could just see what happened when we came back to school in the fall. Jesus, Jerry. He could have just cheated on me over the summer like a normal person and then in September when we came back things would be weird and awkward and the relationship would end naturally. Organically. As God intended.
Instead, in service of being a "good guy," he had to put me through the humiliation of being dumped by a Jerry.
Ugh.
I told Maryann all of this and she said that she thought I was fixating too much on the name and asked if I'd actually liked him.
"I mean," I said, "He was OK. He was cute and we had fun playing Overwatch."
"What did you like more,' she asked. "The boy or the game?"
That was a good point. I did like Overwatch more than I liked Jerry.
"Let's forget about Jerry," Maryann said. "And his jejune designation, which should be easy as that kid was pretty forgettable. Let's talk about Alyssa instead because I like you a lot. I've been thinking: how would you like to stay here with us for the summer and work at Hal's?
Oh my god. I was having an emotional roller coaster of a Thursday. From the depths of humiliation (dammit, Jerry!) to the heights of dopeness. Stay in Chicago without going to school? Just working at my aunt's bomb-ass bookstore? Folx, I was turning 21 in a couple of weeks. This was going to be epic.
I leapt up from the chair I was sulking in and gave her a big hug and we jumped up and down for a bit until she said she was pretty sure that her squealing and jumping up and down days were behind her.
Maryann is my aunt-by-marriage. Her husband, Jason and my mother are siblings. But despite the lack of blood-connection, she's always been my favorite. She's funny and has this weird, cool way of talking. I mean, you caught "jejune designation" right? When I was a little kid, I thought she was totally glamorous. She wasn't really- but I was from a small town in Wisconsin and she was from Chicago and had cool bangs and wore statement eyewear and interesting tee shirts. I loved her from the start.
When I was picking universities, I chose Depaul because it was close to Maryann. That's how much I loved her. It was going to be a total blast living with Maryann and Jason this summer. And I love Hal's! I'd even started watching Barney Miller on my phone before I went to bed at night. Dietrich was my favorite.
Maryann gave me keys and sent me back to her place to get acclimated.
I'm so excited! Man, I hope Maryann and Jason don't mind all the noise. Tubas are loud and I will have to practice.
